Hardscrabble 🍫

By Max Jacobson

See also: the archives and an RSS feed

inhumanity

March 22, 2015

Yesterday morning I grabbed my pants off the floor and a mouse scurried away. I shouted, “ahh!”, ran to my bedroom, and jumped on my bed, pants still in hand.

I had my Improv 201 graduation class performance and I was running late, so I didn’t have time to worry about it. I just got dressed and left with my eyes closed.

On my way to the show, I tried to remember the things we’d been taught over the last 8 weeks, but my mind kept going back to the mouse. It was small and brown; not a startling creature. And yet, very startling!

The show went well, I think. It was fun for me anyway. Afterward we had some food and drinks and then I went home and fell asleep and slept for 15 hours. I wake up around 10am without thinking about the mouse. I’m trying to keep my mind clear, because I’m having a surgery tomorrow, and I want to feel mentally and emotionally prepared so I can be the best patient I can be. And then I start seeing the mouse out of the corner of my eye.

At first it’s to my right, flitting from behind my radiator to behind my couch. I tense up. I pause The Mindy Project. I think it could tell I was occupied.

I resume The Mindy Project. I need to take the last of my antibiotics so I step into the kitchen to take a swig of rice milk. There I see the brown mouse again, by the oven, which is precisely on the other side of the wall from the radiator. I say out loud, “I don’t like this”.

The next time I see the mouse, I’m back at my desktop, and it’s walking back into my living room via the hallway. I say, “hey!” and it turns around and walks back around the corner. I look away and see that he’s walking toward me again. I say “hey, buddy!” and he goes back. So I look away again, and now he’s straight up sprinting past me toward the couch again.

I grab my wallet, keys, and a hoodie, and I leave my apartment and call my mother. She advises me to trap the thing with a glue trap and feel nothing. She says I’ll feel satisfied, like a hunter.

From a nearby cafe I order some humane mouse traps on Amazon.

My grandma calls me and says she’s had good experiences with spring-loaded mouse traps, and that I’ll feel satisfied.

I check a nearby general store. They have glue traps for mice and spring traps for rats. With my grandma still on the phone, I buy the glue trap.

My mom suggested the mouse would die as soon as it got stuck, of a panic attack, but it just kept squeaking for several minutes while I listened in horror. I feel no satisfaction until later, when I’m sitting in my living room again and nothing scampers through my periphery.

Note: I don't have comments or analytics on this website, so it's hard to tell if people are reading or enjoying it. Please feel free to share any feedback or thoughts by shooting me an email or tagging me in a post on Mastodon @maxjacobson@mastodon.online.