hardscrabble

i gave myself a hair cut

14 Dec 2012

It was something like five or six months and I needed one anyway. I’ve always had hair and I’ve always threatened to get rid of it. It was just a matter of getting bored enough, and now it’s gone.

It’s already growing back.

If I weren’t pretty sure it’s a kind of racist thing to think, I’d be more comfortable admitting that my motivation is to look like a buddhist monk. A lot of western people, myself included, have a shallow appreciation of buddhism. I don’t meditate, but I feel like I would meditate. I aspire toward being zen but don’t really know what that means. I took one class in eastern religion in college, to fulfill a requirement, and ended up loving it mainly because the professor had a great sense of humor.

So now my hair is short and I clog less the shower drain. I feel very self-conscious. I feel like I look weird or creepy. I’m nervous to take a Christmas photo with my sisters. Who’s the scary baby?

I’m glad I did it. I feel like a male GI Jane.

I was thinking it would imbue me with a seriousness and I would be able to think more clearly. Is there a fog surrounding your head? It may or may not be your hair.